"Do Not Kill List" FAQ

To respond to some of the burning questions you all have about my new list, here are some answers:

What does being on the Do Not Kill List (DNKL) mean?

It means you have expressed your desire not to be subject to targeted killings by the US government or any of its contractors (i.e. that you've "opted out" of such programs the CIA one detailed by Reuters that is not subject to judicial review), preferring instead that, if the government believes you have committed a capital crime, it should apprehend you and pursue a criminal case in full accordance with your Constitutional rights, such as "habeus corpus", "due process", "right to counsel", "right against self-incrimination" and all other kinds of obscure stuff you might not have heard of.

Wait, is this official? Is the government actually going to abide by this?

Probably not. The idea is just to make sure some list of this type exists so that the government won't be able to pull a trick like, "oh, well, see, Mr. Doe didn't actually invoke his right against secret assassination, so we can assume he waived it".

Isn't this dangerous? Can't someone, like, break out the Uzi and start mowing down people, and then be like, "oh, oh, oh, look, my name's on the DNKL, you can't touch me!"?

No. This "opt-out" doesn't prevent the government from arresting you and prosecuting you to the full extent of the law, even if it were to abide by the list.

I was convicted of a grisly triple murder and sentenced to death. I was accorded full due process and have exhausted all appeals. I'm now set to be executed soon. Optimistically, will being on this list protect me from being executed?

No. The DNKL administration takes no position on current laws or punishments in the US, only on people's right to "opt-out" of government-sanctioned extrajudicial killings.